1. Oh hey, SC2 Beta ends tonight. I wonder if it actually works on Linux/Wine yet.

2. *boots up*

3. *tweaks settings*

4. …wait, did it load?

5. OMG

6. PROTOSS IS HAPPENING NOW

7. OMG LOST TEMPLE, YES, THAT MAP IS HAPPENING NOW

8. *presses the + key a bunch of times, out of habit, even though she probably doesn’t have to*

9. OMG THIS IS JUST LIKE THE ORIGINAL, BUT AWESOMER *tears of joy*

10. MINERALS

11. PYLONS

12. GATEWAY

13. ZEALOTS

14. THERE IS ONE ANSWER AND THE ANSWER IS DRAGOO– wait, where’s the dragoons?

15. Oh hey, new unit called “stalker”. AKA re-named dragoon. THERE IS ONE ANSWER AND THE ANSWER IS STALKERS

16. YAY LET’S EXPAND

17. Ok, we are doing this old school. Old school means zealots and dragoons stalkers and archons and dark templars, and about fiftymillion observers. *tech tree*

18. …did I box myself in?

19. *sighs* *makes shuttle*

20. Oh man I need to guard my expansion. PHOTON CANNONS.

21. Oh yeah you guys, you can’t stop my army. You are going down Easy Mode Computer.

22. Okay, clearly we need more Dark Templars–

23. YOU REQUIRE MORE VESPENE GAS.

24. auuugh I see Dark Templars haven’t changed.

25. omg what is this horrible lovechild of Battlecruiser/dropship he keeps sending into my base? And why is he not doing anything with it? Computer AI is as hilarious as usual I see.

26. Okay we are going to expand again and then YOU ARE GOING DOWN COMPUTER

27. I have my zealots and my archons and my dragoons stalkers and my dark templars and like ten observers, ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?

28. *sends units across map*

29. *regroups*

30. ATTACK!

31. … *blinks* …

32. ERROR REPORTING: Please tell us what you were doing when the crash occurred.

33. … *sigh*