Dig-Dug is one of the first games I ever played. Seriously, we had it on our Commodore 64 back in the day, and I was basically handed a joystick the second I was born, so there’s a very good chance that I was playing this game in diapers. I’ve always sort of seen it as an underrated classic that has to sit in the shadow of stuff like Pac-Man or Donkey Kong. Both of which are awesome games, don’t get me wrong, but there was something about Dig-Dug that I have always really liked. Maybe it’s the fun music, or the entire ridiculous premise of having to go underground to blow up critters (not saying that other Commodore 64 games didn’t have ridiculous premises.)
Now when you’re a little kid you’ll turn video games into whatever you want, so I would do things like attempt to clear the entire screen of dirt, which totally is not the point of the game but I did it anyway (and it gave you bonus points if I recall correctly.) I would also do that thing where you would torture the poor monsters by inflating them nice and slowly and seeing how long you could stretch it out. Come on, I can’t be the only kid who did that.
Anyways, this game is a classic, and it’s usually in my personal video game Top Ten list somewhere. I also have it on my cell phone and I’m not afraid to admit it.
1.) Chasing lights actually moved. It blew my mind when I realized that it was an illusion. Fact: I was like 15 when I finally realized this.
2.) There was somebody somewhere who could read my mind and control me with a remote control. This belief came about because four-year-old-me could not figure out how, say, my arm moved when I wanted it to, or how I could walk. It all seemed really magical, but because I figured magic wasn’t real I decided that the next best answer was that there was somebody somewhere who figured out what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it and controlled me like a remote control car.
3.) The clock would only move its hour hand when I wasn’t looking, just to spite me. I 100% BELIEVED THIS. I used to go sit in front of the clock for five minutes and not take my eyes off of that hour hand. I KNEW I COULD CATCH IT MOVING. But then I would get bored and leave and when I came back an hour later IT HAD MOVED AND I KNEW IT DID THIS ON PURPOSE.
4.) There was a toilet monster who was going to shut the toilet seat on me while I was sitting on it and make me fall in and get flushed.
5.) The vacuum wanted to eat me and all of my toys.
6.) Wishing upon a star worked and that was how I was going to turn into a gerbil. I thought about this really hard one night when I was about… six, weighed the pros and cons (Cons: loss of intelligence, really short life span. Pro: Get to run around in wheels and balls and tubes all day) and then warned my mom that night not to be surprised if I was a gerbil in the morning.
Hating on steampunk seems to be the cool thing to do lately. It seems like I can’t turn around without my invisible fluffy bunny tail brushing up against some author or blogger somewhere who found a cogwheel in his or her soup and isn’t happy with the waiter, and wants the entire Interwebs to know about it.
Art by http://thatoddowl.deviantart.com/
So obviously I’m going to step in here and address a few of the issues that seem to be cropping up the most. As a disclaimer before I begin: I obviously do not speak for all steampunks, just the clockwork rabbit variety.
1.) Steampunk is Overdone
I’ll actually concede the point on this one although I also don’t think it’s the end of the world. Steampunk is getting a lot of press and attention right now and I think it’s primarily because of a few reasons: One, it’s attractive to a lot of different pre-existing groups and subcultures (goths, punks, geeks, makers, etc.), two, it’s so different than traditional fantasy or sci-fi, and three, it just plain looks cool if you need a spiffy wedding or Halloween party in a pinch.
There seems to be a concern that a lot of people are jumping onto the steampunk bandwagon, and a lot of non-steampunks are ranting about it. Guess what, though, a lot of bona fide steampunks are ranting about it as well. (Trust me, “Steampunk is going mainstream, everyone run for cover” is basically the most repeated thread subject on the steampunk forums I frequent.)
My overall opinion is that the exposure is good because yeah, you’re going to get the bandwagoners, but you’re also going to get the people who finally realize “This is it! This is the term for what I have loved all this time!” and in the end the wheat will separate itself from the chaff and it’s not a huge deal. I’ve seen it happen in other fandoms and it’ll happen again here.
2.) Steampunk is just a bunch of plastic gears glued onto nerf guns and top hats.
This stereotype is perpetuated by what you see so often on Regretsy and truthfully some steampunks themselves. To which, in response, I invite you to really dig into the culture and spend some time on the “maker” sections of steampunk websites. Not only will you figure out within five minutes that “glued-on gears” is largely (though not universally) frowned upon within the culture itself, but the steampunk subculture has an inordinately high percentage of members with backgrounds in engineering, mechanics, and other related fields. These are people who value items with function. Things that are beautiful and that work. “Post pictures of your workshop” threads are pages and pages long. These aren’t just people who are sticking old clock pieces on random items and calling it steampunk, these are people with garages filled with lathes and power tools.
You know, like this thing.
3.) Steampunk is silly and is about stuff that doesn’t work in the real world.
This is a criticism that is frequently leveled against steampunk literature by the serious hard sci-fi folks. While there is some truth in this generalization, that’s frequently the nature of the genre. It’s fun! That’s why we’re here.
That said, do refer to my previous answer. Most steampunks are well aware of the fact that their imaginary tech bends the rules of physics. Several of us, myself included, work hard to make sure that said fantastical objects are at least almost real. I have seen several multi-page forum threads that delve into the detailed minutiae of mechanics problems presented by various sorts of imaginary airships or automatons and said threads always impress me with the vast amount of knowledge in this area that many involved in steampunk possess.
4.) Steampunk fans want to bask in the glory days of upper-class Anglo-Saxon masculinity as embodied by the Victorian Era, or some such.
No, seriously, I see this a lot, and it always cracks me up. These people apparently don’t know that the possibilities offered by non-European steampunk are a frequent topic of discussion, enough that there are entire blogs and websites dedicated solely to said concept, oh, and that most steampunk is less about the upper-class and more about the middle and (especially) lower classes. That’s where the “punk” comes in to play. Sure, there are the dandies among us, and items such as top hats and monocles are fun to play with, but it’s not like we’re part of some vast steampunk conspiracy (although I like the sound of that) to return the world to 19th century imperialism. We are all aware of the fact that the 19th century had major problems. We think the 21st century has some pretty big problems, too, and that’s the connection and that’s the point.
Once we invent our time machine the Global Steampunk Conspiracy will travel to the Cretaceous period in the name of science.
5.) It’s not a “real” subculture/genre/etc., it’s just a fad, et al.
I’ll be the first to admit that the definition of steampunk as both a “subculture” and a “genre” still seems to be rather tenuous. Most steampunks, being a largely intelligent lot, will admit the same. “What is steampunk?” discussions inevitably derail into long, complicated, rambling essays and no one ever comes to a conclusion. Perhaps the one conclusion that most people make is that right now it’s a bit of a jumble. Art and literature that defines itself as steampunk or steampunk-inspired runs the gamut from retro-styled science fiction to relatively accurate historical fiction to pulpy action novels to fantasy/alternate universe stuff to post-apocalyptic stories, and that’s just the surface.
Likewise, if you identify as a steampunk, you could be one of many people that fall under that umbrella: literature fans, art fans, writers, artists, musicians, people who dress up, people who don’t dress up, makers, people who view it as nothing more than a fashion style, and people who take it very seriously as a sort of political/social statement. When you throw all of those people into a room and they all choose to identify as one label, things get a little muddled, and you know what? That’s completely understandable.
Ultimately, I see the steampunk movement as one that is about camaraderie, imagination, beauty, science, and above all, optimism all mixed up in a blender and topped with a shiny pair of goggles that you modded yourself. It’s about figuring out why something works the way it does, making it better, and making it stylish while you’re at it. Some of us think we could to do that to society. Nothing wrong with that, right?
Plus, did I mention the airships? Because the airships are awesome.
Admit it: you wouldn't complain if this was the preferred transportation method of the future.
List of horses that I have jinxed by getting all attached and watching their races:
Cigar (and his win streak)
Silver Charm
Real Quiet
Charismatic
War Emblem
Funny Cide
Smarty Jones
…after Smarty I fell out of racing for a while because my heart was shattered into billions of tiny pieces because I was tired of the racing gods toying with me.
Then along comes Zenyatta. Holy crap, 19 for 19? Undefeated? Always comes from behind to win in the last second? SIGN ME UP.
…and of course, in the biggest race of her life, going for 20 out of 20…
…she runs harder than she has ever run, she comes from dead last and some 20 lengths off the lead, she weaves her way through terrible heavy traffic, she disproves everyone who said she couldn’t run on dirt…
…and she loses by a head.*
I AM NOT ALLOWED TO WATCH MY FAVORITE RACEHORSES ANYMORE.
Though on the plus side, I guess we can use me as a reliable indicator for who to bet on to place. Eh?
(You guys won’t mind too terribly if I turn this into a weird writing blog while I NaNo, will you? You won’t? GREAT! <3)
So I've been doing NaNo this year. Before you ask, last year's NaNo is in publishing limbo. You know, where books go to hang out for years and years and years before a great and holy publisher decides to save them from eternal torment. Or something. (Don't worry, if it takes too long I'm gonna get impatient and e-publish).
Well, I've been working on this year's NaNo, tossing words onto pages and in general just trying to get the story out. Here's the weird thing, though: it doesn't really feel like writing. See, I’ve spent the past year editing, so to me editing has sort of become synonymous with writing. Editing is where you chisel out the story. Editing is where, to borrow a phrase from Michelangelo, you set the angel free.
So I’m feeling really awkward about actually writing. I feel like making the outline was kneading the clay, writing is dumping it on the potter’s wheel, and editing is actually shaping something out of that giant, messy lump of clay spinning in front of you.
Of course, the catch is that in pottery, putting the clay on the potter’s wheel takes about half a second, and in NaNo, it takes all month.
Come on, some of you out there remember this, right? Riiiight?
This game worked as so: you collect Pokemon cards, travel around the world, and play the card game with people. Sure, the premise is ridiculous, but the premise for this sort of game doesn’t really matter, because the point is to be able to make virtual decks and play virtual cards.
I rocked at this game, by the way. My “Bulbasaur Rainforest” deck was basically a guaranteed victory as soon as I pulled out Gyrados.
As per usual with the games I post, the music is awesome. Have two songs that are made of win:
First, the Club Master Duel theme, which is some of the most epic sounding music you will ever hear come out of a Game Boy speaker:
…and second, the Imakuni theme, which is weird and which you will probably hate until it grows on you and you start humming it at inopportune moments:
Back when I was into playing around with MIDIs I orchestrated this and called it “Imakuni’s Theme: (Pikestaff’s Version)” and made it my theme song because I totally snatch things like that.
I am supposed to be the White Rabbit from the Wonderland books (which I adored as a kid), but I couldn’t resist tossing in a pair of goggles on the hat. C’mon, can you blame me?
I’m disappointed that you can’t see the shiny golden watch chain in the picture, but trust me, that’s the best part! *geeks out*
Really though, since I have no money the costume was made from thrift shop items and various other things that I already had laying around so overall I’m satisfied.
I’ve recently made it a personal goal of mine to write one novel-length book every year for the rest of my life.
…ambitious? Eh. I’m reasonably certain of my abilities to do it. And hey, no one said I was sane about this sort of thing.
(Just between you and me, I have this fantasy of somebody discovering this huge box full of dusty old manuscripts years after I die and it somehow making this big impact on said person’s life, but then again I have weird fantasies.)
Anyways, I’ll be participating in NaNoWriMo again, because I’ve found that, for me anyways, there is nothing like a healthy combination of peer pressure and a Daily Word Count graph to get you off of your butt and writing.
Now last year I wrote my book entirely in Open Office, which is a spectacular program by the way. And you know what, Open Office is great for if you’re just making it all up as you go along, which is what I was doing last year.
This year is different. This year I already have a pretty strong outline of the entire story. On top of that, if there’s one thing I’ve learned over this last year of editing, it’s that going into the project with a strong idea of linear progression for every plotline in your book will save you a lot of headache later on down the road.
So, having heard good things about these newfangled “writing programs” that give you a place to sort said plotlines, I went off in search of one.
I downloaded and tried a few. Most were too simple, or too complicated, or didn’t have what I was looking for. A program called “Writer’s Cafe” came pretty close but the trial was pretty limited and I didn’t feel like forking out the cash, especially since I’m still unemployed at the moment. A different program, an open source project called Kabikaboo, also came close, but ultimately it’s an outlining tool more than a writing tool (although to be honest, it’s a pretty dang good outlining tool and I’ll probably be using it as a supplement while I write this year’s book.)
Still, it was looking more and more like I’d be writing in Open Office again when I got Scrivener working in Wine.
See, Scrivener is known as the writing app, and for years it’s been Mac-exclusive. Recently, they released a beta test for Windows, and of course, all us Linux dorks came crawling out of the woodwork on the forums– but I’ll get back to that in a minute.
Basically, the main idea of Scrivener is breaking your writing project down into little manageable chunks, which you can then assign custom tags and re-arrange at your leisure. This makes it easy to move scenes around and organize the aforementioned plotlines.
It’ll look something like this (sneak peek of my upcoming book! Le gasp!):
The "Corkboard" View...and the Outline View
As you can see, as a way of testing the program, I’ve tossed a bunch of my book’s early scenes into the program, and I’ve been able to sort them and tag them and summarize them, and already I can see how helpful this is going to be for keeping track of all those pesky plotlines.
I’m sure it’s got all sorts of other functionality that I’ve yet to discover, as well.
My only real concern at this point is being able to export the final project out to a different format if needs be; I haven’t yet tested it and while it has an export to .rtf feature I need to see how nicely that will play with Open Office. That’s next up in the Testing Queue.
But lemme tell you what really sold me on Scrivener already.
Remember when I mentioned that all of us crazy Linux folks showed up at the Scrivener forums, helping each other get it working and providing bug reports alongside everyone else?
Well apparently the Scrivener programmers were pleasantly surprised at this and are gonna throw together an (albeit unofficial and unsupported) Linux-native version for us to play with. In their own time.
Wow. Making a version of your software for less than 1% of the desktop market share, just to be nice. I’m so impressed. I mean, you could make the argument that they’re just tossing us a bone to get us out of their hair, but even then NOBODY HAS EVER TOSSED US A BONE BEFORE.
Yeah, I’m pretty stoked.
And that’s why I’m here to tell you about this program. 99% of the time I’m all about the Free and Open Source, and Scrivener is admittedly neither, but I like to make exceptions for good software and good people and so far I’m impressed. If you’re a writer and on Windows (or Linux!), go test the Beta version. If you win NaNo you get 50% off when the final program is actually released. And that’s a pretty good deal.
There’s one in every family. You know, like Star Trek V, or Batman & Robin. Yup, every series has got That One Thing.
Super Mario Bros. 2 is Mario’s That One Thing.
…fortunately Mr. Freeze isn’t in Super Mario Bros. 2.
And fortunately, Super Mario Bros 2 is AWESOME.
See, this wasn’t originally a Mario game. Nintendo just took the original game, named Doki Doki Panic, and conveniently gave it Mario sprites. The result is this crazy game that involves magic potions that take you to alternate phases, hurling vegetables around, bird face doors, and Warp Vases instead of Warp Pipes.
But somehow, if you mix all of this up in a blender and serve chilled, it all comes out amazingly. This game is redonkulously fun.
Also, you can be Toad. And we all know that Toad is basically the best Mario character, besides Yoshi or the talking stopwatch in Diddy Kong Racing.
He's a Fun-Guy!
There’s really not much else to say about this game; the gameplay is pretty straightforward. It’s just different. But different is good when it’s still solid, and this game is.
1. NO SET SCHEDULE:
“Whoops, I stayed up too late tonight watching House reruns. Oh well, good thing I don’t have to be anywhere in the morning~!”
2. NO FEELING BAD ABOUT SPENDING THE DAY ON THE INTERNET: With a job: “Awww, I wanted to be productive today but I spent the entire day sucked into a link spiral on Wikipedia. I guess there’s always next week.” Without a job: “I spent the entire day sucked into a link spiral on Wikipedia. AWESOME! Let’s do it again tomorrow!”
3. MORE TIME TO DO ALL THAT CRAP YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO DO BUT NEVER HAD TIME FOR, LIKE REMIX MIDIS OF LADY GAGA SONGS.
…what?
4. SAVING MONEY YOU WOULD HAVE OTHERWISE SPENT ON GAS OR LUNCH AT WORK
Seriously I probably dumped close to $100 a month on lunches/the snack machine alone. And let’s not get into gas money.
5. PLAYING WOW ALL DAY
“Holy crap suddenly I have time to do randoms. On all my characters. OMG. OMG.”
—
WORST THINGS
1. PLAYING WOW ALL DAY
“If I do the Argent Tournament dailies on one more character I’m going to punch a toy kitten.”
2. BEING BROKE
“GUYS GUYS I FOUND A $5 BILL I DIDN’T KNOW I HAD. THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE. I’M GOING TO CELEBRATE BY BUYING ONE MOUNTAIN DEW AND DRINKING IT SLOWLY THROUGHOUT THE DURATION OF THE WEEK.”
3. AWKWARD MOMENTS Phone Rings
Bill Collector: “Hi uh, your bill for such-and-such is past due.”
Me: “Yeah, I don’t have a job.”
Bill Collector: “Oh.”
*crickets*
Bill Collector: “…well, it’s still due. Just an FYI.”
Me: “Yeah I know.”
Bill Collector: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Yeah.”
Bill Collector: “Okay because I just wanted to make sure you know that your bill is due and–” *click*
4. CABIN FEVER
“I’m going to go drive around for a few hours.”
“Why? Where are you going?”
“Nowhere. But it’s at least slightly more interesting than walking in circles around the house.”
5. GETTING OUT OF SHAPE
“OMG MY FEET ARE SOOOO SORE”
“…um, you were only at Wal-Mart for like ten minutes.”
“SHUT UP I’MA GO LAY DOWN. AND PLAY GAME BOY.”
—
Still job-hunting. Your good vibes: send ’em my way!
