1. Oh hey, SC2 Beta ends tonight. I wonder if it actually works on Linux/Wine yet.
2. *boots up*
3. *tweaks settings*
4. …wait, did it load?
5. OMG
6. PROTOSS IS HAPPENING NOW
7. OMG LOST TEMPLE, YES, THAT MAP IS HAPPENING NOW
8. *presses the + key a bunch of times, out of habit, even though she probably doesn’t have to*
9. OMG THIS IS JUST LIKE THE ORIGINAL, BUT AWESOMER *tears of joy*
10. MINERALS
11. PYLONS
12. GATEWAY
13. ZEALOTS
14. THERE IS ONE ANSWER AND THE ANSWER IS DRAGOO– wait, where’s the dragoons?
15. Oh hey, new unit called “stalker”. AKA re-named dragoon. THERE IS ONE ANSWER AND THE ANSWER IS STALKERS
16. YAY LET’S EXPAND
17. Ok, we are doing this old school. Old school means zealots and dragoons stalkers and archons and dark templars, and about fiftymillion observers. *tech tree*
18. …did I box myself in?
19. *sighs* *makes shuttle*
20. Oh man I need to guard my expansion. PHOTON CANNONS.
21. Oh yeah you guys, you can’t stop my army. You are going down Easy Mode Computer.
22. Okay, clearly we need more Dark Templars–
23. YOU REQUIRE MORE VESPENE GAS.
24. auuugh I see Dark Templars haven’t changed.
25. omg what is this horrible lovechild of Battlecruiser/dropship he keeps sending into my base? And why is he not doing anything with it? Computer AI is as hilarious as usual I see.
26. Okay we are going to expand again and then YOU ARE GOING DOWN COMPUTER
27. I have my zealots and my archons and my dragoons stalkers and my dark templars and like ten observers, ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?
28. *sends units across map*
29. *regroups*
30. ATTACK!
31. … *blinks* …
32. ERROR REPORTING: Please tell us what you were doing when the crash occurred.
33. … *sigh*
Hahaha i would love to see your face when playing SC2 for the first time 😉
My favorite race is Protoss too, closely followed by the Zerg (got to love the disguisting sound the hatchery makes) Humans.. are there to kill 😉
Gr, Michel.
Someone at Blizzard’s going to laugh when they read that report:
“I WAS TRYING TO WIN SOME LOST TEMPLE FACE WITH MY ZEALOTS AND ARCHONS AND DRAGOONS AND DARK TEMPLARS AND TEN OBSERVERS AGAINST THE LOLABLE AI AND THEN THE AI LOLED AT ME. :<"
I wanted to be excited about SCII I really did… but I just cannot find it fun. It feels so dated and it has not even come out yet. Maybe the beta was just not complete, I am not sure, but I really dislike the way the game looked and felt.
I am complete and hopeless Sc2 fanboy. Played the beta non-stop and was nearly crying when it ended.. I want the game to come out so bad now. And I love the fact it remained a bit the same, good old school RTS.
Having played the SC2 beta extensively, and enjoyed it thoroughly, all I can offer is the knowledge that what you missed was the AI saying “gg” when you got close to his base.
Terribad AI is terribad, but it’s also very realistic about its own chances. I can imagine the poor lil’ bits of code screaming in agony. “I want to go proxy reaper rush and crush this person, curse these limitations, CURSE THEM!”
Poor cruddy AI.
It suffers so.
SC2 does look awesome, and plays almost like the original! yayness!
As for your dragoons, I was curious about that too, but I looked into it, and being the lore nerd that I usualy am, I discovered that with the destruction of their homeworld, dragoons became a dying breed, as they are no longer able to create more. Dragoons being wounded protoss put on life-support in a quadripedal tank, they ended up upgrading them to form the Immortal that you might find further in the tech tree. They have big shields, and big boom guns that hurt buildings yay!
Been playing the Beta for a while now, lotsa patches and “rebalancing” later I’m still “not too sure”. Mind you I wasn’t so freaked about the first SC either when it first came out but boy did it grow on me later…
lol that was an amazing description of playing SC
How did you get to play it vs the a.i.?
@ Havocme – I started a multiplayer game and then made the other characters all computers.